Most “rules” you’ll read online are minor. These two actually matter — both tied to funeral customs:
The two chopstick rules
- Never stand chopsticks upright in rice — it echoes incense at a funeral altar.
- Never pass food chopstick-to-chopstick — it mirrors a bone-passing funeral ritual. Place food on the other person’s plate instead.
Everything else (resting chopsticks wrong, fumbling with them) is genuinely fine.
Say it before and after
“Itadakimasu” before eating, “gochisousama deshita” when done. Not required, but easy to pick up and appreciated.
Slurping is normal
For ramen, soba, and udon — locals do it too. Don’t feel self-conscious.
Izakaya basics
- An automatic small appetizer (otoshi) is a cover charge, not something you ordered — a few hundred yen, normal.
- Order a few shared dishes at a time, not everything up front.
- “Sumimasen” gets a server’s attention. No tipping.
No tipping, anywhere
Good service is the standard. Extra cash can cause confusion — pay exactly what’s billed.
Splitting the bill
“Warikan” (splitting evenly) is common among friends, but smaller restaurants often prefer one payer at the register. Easiest in groups: designate one payer, settle up after.
Bottom line
Get the chopstick rules right, watch the table next to you for the rest, and you’re fine.